Judge Jonathan

That's all, folks

2007-06-07T23:24:00.000+02:00

Even those who die a slow death and fizzle quietly into oblivion receive a eulogy when their day has finally come. And so it is with this blog.

It is perhaps indicative of my entire blogging experience that the month with the most posts was August 2004, when I created this blog.

Back then, I held a deep (if slightly megalomaniac) belief in the worthiness of my thoughts on just about anything to be spread to the entire world. And while that belief has most certainly not been shaken, my willingness to actually engage in all that thought-spreading has.

Why? I can't tell. Perhaps it's the time factor. Or the fact that personal blogging makes little sense in an age of Facebook. Whatever the reasons, the time has come to draw a line in the sand across which - to quote the great Walter Sobchak - "YOU DO NOT---".

This is not to say it hasn't been fun. Quite the contrary. There was a contest, lots of Prince, and even a controversial sex travel report. Not to mention my 15 minutes of actual blogger fame (and sudden page visit explosions) when I wrote an open letter to the freak formerly known as Katie Holmes.

But the Lord loves those who know when to stop. Which is exactly what I'll be doing, after saying one last thing: writing all those posts would have been utterly pointless had it not been for the few loyal Judge Jonathan readers out there (myself, of course, included). I salute you; thanks for the ride. Now go off, be merry and do something meaningful.

Or, to quote Walter one last time: "Fuck it, dude. Let's go bowling."

Felicitating in French

2007-05-07T23:23:00.001+02:00

You know, if there's one thing one shouldn't do, it's using your blog just for posting Youtube clips (Tobi, if you're reading this: present company excluded. You do it the way it's supposed to be done).

Having said that (and having broken my own rule more than once), there's just something utterly postworthy about a Youtube clip such as the following one. And that's because there's something utterly remarkable about a British Prime Minister using an online video sharing site owned by the world's most powerful (American) search engine to congratulate the new French President-elect, for all the world to see.

In French.

I don't know about you, but something tells me these Brits will miss Tony Blair before long.

R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut

2007-04-12T17:44:00.000+02:00

It's a sad day. Kurt Vonnegut, my favorite author, is dead.

He died yesterday, the same day my suggestion to read Hocus Pocus in our office book club was rejected for the fourth time in a row. Which, come to think of it, is something Vonnegut would have absolutely loved.

After the initial shock wore off, I remembered that just over two years ago, when I still had time to do things like ~~read~~ write about books I loved, I posted this - a sort of review of the marvelous Cat's Cradle.

Of course, other references to (and quotes by) the great K.V. have popped up on this blog regularly since then. For what other, more qualified people have to say, see the New York Times' must-read orbituary, as well as this 2005 article.

One final point: the BBC reminds us of the following remark by Vonnegut: "I'm suing a cigarette company because on the package they promised to kill me, and yet here I am."

Now we can finally say it: So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut.

Pharaoh's questions

2007-04-03T23:43:00.000+02:00

After two Seder nights (a first!), my belly is positively bursting. But as usual, the food for thought will take longer to digest.

Björk: Drunk unlimited

2007-04-03T00:58:00.000+02:00

Which one is more likely: 2 Unlimited performing «Venus as a Boy», or Björk performing «No Limit»?

Wrong.

Watch:

Stereogum's debating just how drunk she must have been.

Judge Jonathan joins the Google family

2007-04-01T20:54:00.000+02:00

MOUNTAIN VIEW - Google today announced it is purchasing Judge Jonathan (http://judgejonathan.blogspot.com) for an undisclosed sum. According to Google CEO Eric Schmidt, Google has acquired the rights to Judge Jonathan in both his virtual and physical form, giving the search giant access to "almost three years of D-list blogging history" as well as a body of experience in First Life that "dates back to the early 1980s."

Okay... so that's what my lame attempt at an April Fool's joke would look like. Others were smarter and reported on good ones instead of making them up. There's Gmail for you, via Tobistar, and the BBC (fifty years ago) via Captain's Log.

Other goodies this year:

The Register reports on Apple & Google's "ultimate phone"
Google's got another one: Google TiSP (which "goes with the flow")
Housequake announces that Prince is taking his Las Vegas 3121 concept elsewhere. To Des Moines, Iowa.
And Ehud Olmert announces last year's war in Lebanon was "a resounding success". And that "within five years an arrangement will be reached between Israel and the Palestinians and with the entire Arab world". And that "the government is performing well, the economy is thriving, the coalition is stable, there is no terror, Israel's international status has never been better". And that he is "managing the affairs of state quite well." Oh wait, he's serious.

And more and more from years before.

Let's call it the Tinkerbono effect

2007-03-26T00:13:00.000+02:00

It's official: the guys at FP Passport have a sense of humor. If only because they posted the following joke:

FP Passport: The reverse Tinkerbell effect

Bono was playing a U2 concert in Glasgow recently, when he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in rapt attention, he leaned into the microphone and said, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A Glaswegian voice rang out from the back of the crowd, piercing the silence ...

"Well, f***in' stop doing it then!"

Your friendly neighborhood Jonathan

2007-03-22T07:24:00.000+01:00

My 12-year old self would have been proud of me:

Your results:
You are Spider-Man
You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Not so sure about the 60% Wonder Woman, but who cares about details anyway.

Spider-Man		80%
Green Lantern		75%
Superman		70%
Wonder Woman		60%
Supergirl		50%
Iron Man		45%
The Flash		45%
Robin		40%
Hulk		35%
Batman		30%
Catwoman		25%

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Jumping to AirTunes conclusions

2007-03-18T19:48:00.000+01:00

The other day, I was in her apartment, walking from one room to the other and minding my own business, when something strange happened. I noticed that the same music was playing in both rooms.

Of course, as a proud owner of two AirPort Expresses, I am slightly sensitized towards wireless music systems. It had to be AirTunes! So I looked around - but there were no AirPorts in the house. In fact, the stereo in toilet wasn't connected to any wireless device at all. And, just for a moment, I was very, very confused. What on earth was going on?

Radio, that's what.

Sometimes ~~we all~~ I need to remind ~~our~~myself that not all cool things in life were developed by Apple.

Et tu, ?uestlove?

2007-03-11T20:58:00.000+01:00

No doubt Funkadelic were spot on when they exclaimed "Who Says a Funk Band Can't Play Rock?!". But what's with all the R&B artists wasting their talents on U2 songs? Back in June, I could just about handle Mary, but now The Roots are doing it, too! I'm in shock. See for yourself:

The Roots - U2 Tribute @ NAACP Image Awa
Uploaded by HVokp

Did you hit the stop button early too? That's because you know you'd rather see Prince play the Foo Fighters than this.

Seeing the world through Peretz's eyes

2007-03-06T23:12:00.000+01:00

Ever wish you could? Amir Peretz's long career has taken him to the top of Israeli politics, where he finds himself increasingly loathed and ridiculed. The former is justifiable; the latter, not so much.

Danger Room, the new national security blog from Wired, just posted a great introduction to the man and why he (still) is where he is, explaining some of the idiosyncrasies of the Israeli political system in the process. It discusses party politics, national defense myths, and race; for the interested but uninitiated, the post is worth a read.

Here's my take on it, with a couple of links thrown in to my own writing (I'm really into crossposting these days).

There's nothing wrong, and certainly nothing ridiculous, about a civilian leading the defense ministry. In fact, it was positively refreshing to see a man like Peretz assume that role: witness my own excitement in this November 2005 Security Watch article. What is worthy of contempt, however, is taking the job for all the wrong reasons and breaking all your election promises, and it took exactly 12 months (and a catastrophic war) for the world to figure that out, and me to write another article.

Read if you want, and judge for yourself how symbolic the photo is.

Downs and ups

2007-03-05T15:38:00.001+01:00

Down: Realizing, on your way to the Art Institute of Chicago at -2°C, that the zipper on your jacket is broken.

Up: Taking part in a guided tour of some of the Institute's more obscure paintings. Topic: "Love". Tour guide: knowledgeable as hell. Price tag: free.

Down: During that tour, being hit on by a 60 year old man: "You've got the most beautiful hair."

Up: Knowing that the girl who actually has the most beautiful hair is coming to pick you up at Zurich Airport.

Of American cities and American spies

2007-03-04T08:58:00.000+01:00

Whenever I'm fortunate enough to travel to the US on the Swiss tax payer's money, I try to add an extra day at the end of my trip to get a glimpse of the city I'm in. And sometimes, when I feel like doing something truly radical, I go see a movie that won't be out in Switzerland for a long time. Just to brag.

Over the past 12 months, this approach has made me see awesome things such as the San Diego Zoo, the liberty bell, Roger Federer and the criminally overlooked Crank.

Tonight didn't disappoint either. Braving the cold, I left the hotel and found myself in Millennium Park. Standing in the middle of insanely beautiful Pritzker Pavilion at night and just staring at the skyscrapers around you is every bit as amazing as you could imagine. People who've been here before told me Chicago sported the world's most beautiful (and oldest) skyline. They're right.

Any person in their right mind would have to treat themselves to a brand new movie after an experience like that. Breach, the true story of FBI agent and Russian spy Robert Hanssen, was the absolute right choice. Having seen The Good Shepherd a few days earlier - another spy movie, and not a bad one, either - I can only marvel at the fact that life gives us the best stories. Not about spies; about human beings. And if you stick to the facts, as Breach does, you get a film that doesn't need to construct layers upon layers of plot elements to be captivating. And one that stars Chris Cooper. Watch it. (Whenever it hits European cinemas - ha!).

Right - half a day left. Just enough for some sleep and some art (a lousy block away).

Guess I'm saving the airfare

2007-03-02T02:36:00.000+01:00

So here's the situation.

I'm in Chicago on business. Prince, it would seem, is in Las Vegas - where's he's performed every Friday and Saturday since November. And I'm free from noon Saturday until Sunday night.

Seems like the perfect opportunity to hop on a plane and visit Club 3121. But Prince wouldn't be Prince if he didn't suddenly decide to take his first weekend off since starting his Vegas stint just when I'm stateside.

What is one to do? See Chicago, that's what. And Frankie's kind of town can't be that bad - in fact, judging from what I've seen so far, it's pretty sweet.

By the way, I do realize February was blogfree (Britney's new haircut notwithstanding). Suffering from Judge Jonathan withdrawal symptoms? Read my latest post on open access research over at the ISN Blog.

Why are we alive? How to kiss? Should people with computers keep writing characters by hand?

2007-01-15T23:11:00.001+01:00

Since it's being said they're about to completely take over the world - by 2066 at the very latest - you might be interested in what kind of questions the Chinese are asking these days.

Well, Baidu - China's Google, kind of - gives us the answer. It's kind of like Google Zeitgeist. And it's weird.

Or maybe Baidu is just that much smarter than Google - if it answers questions like "Should I have a child?", "What is happiness?", "Should I join the Party?" and even the oldest question of all: "Why does my hair fall out?"

(Via FP Passport.)

Talk about a dream come true

2007-01-09T23:30:00.000+01:00

Yes, there might be 100 million other people blogging about this right now. I don't care. In fact, there is only one thing I care about right now:

It's here: iPhone.

I never thought I'd look forward so much to something called "Q4 2007". Only a couple of months left. I am so buying this baby.

Update: The keynote is online now. You can (and you should) watch it here.

Go, go, go Ziggy, it's your birthday

2007-01-08T23:50:00.000+01:00

Just in time (here in Zurich, at least): Happy 60th birthday to David Bowie.

Want to show your love? Check his discography. Shamefully, most of it (apart from the phenomenal The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Reality) are still on my "to listen" list, but hopefully that'll change by the time he's 70.

In the meantime, you can also celebrate by doing what I did yesterday and seeing The Prestige. A spectacular movie: Hugh Jackman is great, Christian Bale is even better, and Bowie is too cool for school playing none other than the great Nikola Tesla.

More Bowie from the BBC.

A last look at 2006

2007-01-06T14:00:00.000+01:00

So I come home from my well-earned vacation, and what's the last thing 2006 gave us? The deaths of - among others, of course - a former US president, the hardest working man in show business and two ruthless dictators.

Alright then. But there's one thing I just don't get. Saddam gets to be executed (and filmed by Time's Person of the Year!), while Turkmenbashi has to make do with a boring heart attack?

Life is unfair.

He's bringing sexy (Christmas presents) back

2006-12-20T21:58:00.001+01:00

I've said it before, Rashunda is saying it right here, and the ass I just laughed off is saying it now: Justin Timberlake is cool.

Cool in a Color Me Badd kind of way. And if you really want to know, cool in a d*ck-in-a-box kind of way. Watch:

I may be drunk - but you're Hitler, as it were

2006-12-12T18:29:00.000+01:00

If there's one thing I love, it's quoting myself. Yesterday, I wrote the following:

"A funny ad for a funky show, as it were".

Now that quirky little English expression - "as it were" - got me thinking. Which in turn got me Googling. Which led me to a hilarious page called "How to Win Arguments, As It Were".

It offers a nice set of guidelines to help you win any argument. Among them, of course, the obligatory advice to use "meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases" - like so:

Suppose you want to say: "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Other tips include "Drink liquor", "Make things up" (exact figures, whenever possible) and "Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks". And last but not least, the mother of them all:

Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.

This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say" or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

It's not a sellout if...

2006-12-11T18:33:00.000+01:00

...you approach the whole thing with a fair amount of self-mockery. Which isn't a quality I've known Prince to have - until I saw this.

A funny ad for a funky show, as it were.

Super Bowl XLI is scheduled for 4 February 2007, and if that video is anything to go by, the actual commercials should be just as funny as last year's.

Peeping into the PCs of the powerful

2006-12-08T23:45:00.000+01:00

...or Macs, actually, since God is a Mac user - and he sure isn't on top of his emails. As for Dick Cheney - well, this guy just needs to give up Googling.

(Via TUAW and Google Blogoscoped.)

Google thinks American women are fat

2006-12-07T13:15:00.000+01:00

If Google search results and the order in which they appear really do represent something like a world - or web - opinion (and for the sake of argument, let's assume that they do), than this is a brilliant way of discovering national stereotypes.

From the ever-interesting Google Blogoscoped:

I searched for [nationality] woman and [nationality] man, where “nationality” is e.g. French, Swedish, Turkish, Chinese and so on. The result is a visual overview of country stereotypes.

More here.

10 links from the JJ folder

2006-12-06T22:50:00.000+01:00

Yes, the JJ folder in my bookmarks toolbar - that's where I've been keeping the stuff I meant to post here over the past five weeks. Alas, time, work, a new apartment, Lost downloads and weekends in Prague, Berlin and the Berner Oberland didn't allow. But I figured I'd give you the links anyway.

Fantasies of waterproof furniture in the 1950s: "Nothing betrays the spirit of an age so precisely as the way it represents the future"

Steve & Steve's iCE CREAM and fictitious Apple rebrandings of existing companies. Gorgeous, obviously

Capture the armrest from the fat dude next to you. Works for frequent flyers, moviegoers and others

Slate gets it so right: the ultimate proof that REM rocks and U2 doesn't

Kevin Smith's iTunes playlist is "too great, actually" for Apple

UTube sues YouTube, but nobody gets why

£500 for a Swiss army knife? Read the article instead

Steve Jobs says Apple didn't try to make the iPod cool, it just was

Web 2.0 heaven for you geeks

And googlebombing for Martin Luther King and against racism - here we go:
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King

Ride the line and waste some time

2006-10-31T22:58:00.000+01:00

Not only a productivity killer, as Lifehacker suggests; this highly addictive online ~~game~~ toy also kills a little dude on a sledge wearing a scarf - any way you want.

Of course, the idea behind it seems to be to build slopes that he can actually survive. You can get in on all the fun here.

What's really shocking, though, is how much time some (obviously talented) people seem to have. Check this out:

More such displays of Flash genius at YouTube.

Rey-Bellet, Bailey Rae, bad taste, badder taste

2006-10-31T22:16:00.000+01:00

About half a year ago, Swiss ski star Corinne Rey-Bellet was killed just as British singer Corinne Bailey Rae was all over the charts. Of course, the irony was not lost on me, but I decided against posting about it because that really would have been in bad taste.

But I was wrong. Bad taste is showing up at a Halloween party dressed like Steve Irwin.

Via The Superficial.

What's with the bees?

2006-10-25T00:50:00.000+02:00

Those who know me know I am easily excited (and subsequently disappointed) when I hear about upcoming movies. But here's one I'm not only excited about, I'm so ecstatic I might just lose my natural fear of bees.

The Movie Blog tells us that none other than Jerry Seinfeld is writing, producing, and lending his voice to a new animated movie called "Bee Movie".

And yes - it's about bees. Now all they have to do is include Eric The Half A Bee somewhere in the script and it'll be the greatest movie ever.

I guess this means I'm in beta, too

2006-10-12T01:11:00.000+02:00

Take a look around. Notice anything different?

(If you're reading this in an RSS reader, visit my blog for a sec.)

No? Nothing? That's because it still looks the same around here. Which is a good thing, given that it's taken me two hours of copy/pasting and code-cracking to make this blog look halfway decent again after I officially upgraded to Blogger beta today.

And, surprisingly, my first impression is: it's not that bad. Or, to paraphrase myself, it's certainly too late, but not too little. The new features are pretty cool, and the code (which you can now edit) isn't hard to tweak.

Blogger beta isn't the coolest thing Google has done lately (Google Reader is - more on that another time), just as the Google-YouTube deal isn't the most exciting (Google Docs is). But it'll keep me motivated to post more than just the occasional video around here in the future.

(For those fictional few who've been keeping track: Yes, I'm still working on my "latest something new", and yes, it will still be a Wordpress blog, Blogger beta notwithstanding. More on that - you guessed it - soon.)

Limburger cheese and human feet

2006-10-06T12:51:00.000+02:00

The 2006 Ig Nobel prizes have been awarded. My two favourites:

LITERATURE — Daniel Oppenheimer, for his report “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly.”

BIOLOGY — Bart Knols and Ruurd de Jong, for showing that female malaria mosquitoes are attracted equally to the smell of Limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.

More right here.

Sized Small - 10XL

2006-10-04T16:48:00.000+02:00

I'm not exactly sure why this is funny, but I'm pretty sure it just made me wet my pants, so it definitely is funny.

Polls, the way they did them in ancient Sumeria

2006-09-28T18:19:00.000+02:00

If you're sick and tired of hearing about all those US midterm election polls, or if you're a poll junkie like myself, here's a video for you.

(Via Pollster.)

Don't google and kill

2006-09-19T11:56:00.000+02:00

How much clearer can it get? If you want to kill your wife, don't spend the night before googling the best way to do it.
Google Blogoscoped reports on Google Murder number two:

The day before the killing, Anurag logged onto a university computer and carried out a Google search which ... involved “tips with killing with a baseball bat and how to murder someone and not get caught.”

Ah, the stupidity.

I have not actually read this book

2006-09-07T16:27:00.000+02:00

...but I can still review it, says this guy called Jon Swift, and proceeds to do just that - more than once - on Amazon.

Hilarious.

(Via Google Blogoscoped.)

Past Jessica, into the glass cube

2006-09-04T19:16:00.000+02:00

I made it - I'm at Apple's beautiful Fifth Avenue store, blogging from a brand new Mac Pro.

But to get here, I had to get past a taping of an outdoor Jessica Simpson concert (which will be aired Wednesday, apparently).

God, my ears hurt - if that isn't commitment to the Mac cause, what is?

Thank God for scalpers

2006-09-04T17:42:00.000+02:00

Because this is where I was last night.

In an unprecedented night session at Louis Armstrong Stadium, forced by the five rained-out sessions earlier this week, No. 1 seed Roger Federer routed the American Vince Spadea, 6-3, 6-3, 6-0.

That's right, I'm back in New York.

Blogger Beta: Too little, too late

2006-08-31T11:54:00.000+02:00

Some weeks ago, Blogger announced "Blogger Beta", a significant upgrade to its services. And it was exactly what I needed - two years ago, when I started this thing.

Now, in August 2006, it's too little (because all they're doing is playing catch-up with Wordpress) and too late (because I have already made up my mind to switch to Wordpress for my latest "something new").

I'm still not sure whether this blog will stay on Blogger or make the switch to Wordpress as well. As for the new thing, it's already online, and I'm having a blast doing it (strictly for myself, which kinda makes it even more fun). I'll share the URL soon.

To keep you happy during that time, there's new stuff from two of the coolest bloggers I read: Tobistar is now on the island, and Rashunda started Rashonista.

Do you have to use so many cusswords?

2006-08-24T00:08:00.000+02:00

F*cking short, but still f*cking cool. And the coolest thing is that you can still pretty much follow the plot:

By the way, The Big Lebowski is currently #11 on the movie fuckometer, with an FPM of 2.22.

JJTags:

Zurich is boring

2006-08-22T17:34:00.000+02:00

Hey, I didn't say it:

Financial Times: Zurich makes a virtue out of being boring

JJtags:

switzerland

Blogging at work

2006-08-17T17:47:00.000+02:00

You may have noticed that blogging around here has been very slow lately. Just in case you're wondering what I've been up to: I've been developing, testing and implementing another blog. And I was getting paid to do it, too.

No, I'm not talking about AdSense here - I'm talking about the ISN Blog.

Yep, the place I work for jumped on the blogging bandwagon as well. The idea is to blog on all things ISN (new services, etc) as well as issues related to international relations, IT, knowledge work and more.

Should make for an eclectic mix, and from what I can tell so far, a successful one (though comments are still quite rare - help out if you want). Learn more from my boss's introductory post.
And don't miss my very own weekly IR/IT news review.

So, if you need your Judge Jonathan fix and this site isn't being updated, try the ISN Blog - or Song Of The Week (which just went 2.0).
Or maybe, just maybe, something new. Sooner than you think.

JJtags:

blogging

Microsoft I-pod Pro 2005 XP Human Ear Professional Edition With Subscription

2006-08-06T10:43:00.000+02:00

That's what the iPod would've been called had Microsoft designed it. Watch as the deformation gradually occurs:

The ironic part: The video was created by Microsoft. Via PC World's Techlog.

JJTags:

Britney Spears. On Video. On Drugs.

2006-08-05T00:57:00.000+02:00

If you think that title is another one of my stupid jokes, think again. The Superficial gives us this video of what can only be described as - well, Britney Spears on drugs. Crack, mushrooms, LSD, ecstasy, whatever it is, it's making her even dumber than she already is, and that's not easy.

Watch it. And look out for the reference to my all-time favourite movie. Britney is so deep.

I think "Kids, don't do drugs" isn't the proper thing to say right now. It's "Moms, don't do drugs".

JJTags:

They lose some, you win some

2006-07-25T23:39:00.000+02:00

Know music? Speak German? (Or use Babelfish?)

Win a CD over at Song of the Week. Idea and hints (including the one here) courtesy of yours truly.

JJTags:

Bush knows what needs to get done to get shit stopped

2006-07-17T20:46:00.000+02:00

This is spreading across the internet like wildfire:

Reuters: Mideast crisis drives Bush to colorful language

A microphone picked up an unaware President Bush on Monday.

...

Bush replied: "What they need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit."

I'm pretty sure saying the word shit isn't considered "colorful" anymore, so they must be referring to that expression he used.
Let me get this right: to need to get somebody to get somebody to do something. Namely, this shit.

Shit.

JJTags:

SOTW goes pr0n

2006-07-11T17:36:00.000+02:00

For all you German speakers: Witness SOTW blogger Tobias get all physical while writing about Morningwood. The word on the street is that the accompanying video can be found here.

In case you don't know yet - SOTW stands for Song Of The Week, the best damn music blog out there. Yours truly is involved, so go.

JJtags:

Several cute puppies were killed

2006-07-07T12:28:00.000+02:00

If you do one thing today, listen to The Onion Radio News for Kids. Gotta love Stacy.

Previously: Doyle Redland reporting

JJtags:

Upward, but not downward

2006-06-27T00:28:00.000+02:00

You have got to be kidding me.

A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward.

Read on: CNN: Man wins $400K for 10-year implant malfunction

(Via Dilbert Blog.)

JJtags:

funny
penis

There's only one One

2006-06-21T06:30:00.000+02:00

It's not unusual for cover bands to ruin songs; it's slightly strange when the original band is complicit in the crime.

U2 & Mary J. Blige: "One"

And then Tobistar wonders why people dislike U2.

JJTags:

Congratulations 72.152.189.#!

2006-06-20T19:17:00.000+02:00

You are Judge Jonathan's 10'000th visitor!!!

You're from Atlanta, GA, you're on a Windows XP computer and you run IE 6.0. (Which is too bad for you.) You came here on Sunday afternoon, via a Yahoo! search - you typed "3121 review" - and visited (read?) my ultracool analysis of Prince's latest album. And then you left. Just like that.

72.152.189.#, you singlehandedly started a new era on Judge Jonathan - the era of 5-digit total visitor numbers. If you ever come back and read this, please send me an email. There's a 5-digit prize awaiting you. Like, $0.0001. Or something.

JJTags:

blogging

Dortmund to go

2006-06-20T01:57:00.000+02:00

To go. Get it? Anyway, here's the story - in brief:

Sunday, 18 June, 17:00: Zurich
Departure with Dad and trusty old Nissan Micra.

Monday, 19 June, 00:30: Dortmund
We get the picture, even at night - this city is covered in red. Swiss red.

Monday, 19 June, 15:00: Westfalenstadion
Frei and Barnetta score, 50'000 Swiss fans go crazy. No doubt about it: time and money well spent.

Tuesday, 20 June, 01:45: Zurich
Home sweet home. Hopp Schwiiz and good night.

JJTags:

Sony sperr check

2006-06-14T23:39:00.000+02:00

Maybe it's time they stopped releasing these things in Japan first:

(Via iBloggedThis.)

Yep, that's a Playstation 3 controller, and yes, it says "Serect".

And what would this post be without a reference to Kim Jong Il's classic "I'm So Ronery" from Team America?

Enjoy:

JJTags:

HIStory in a 28 second video

2006-06-13T20:27:00.000+02:00

Holy Mother of God.

I know he hasn't really been in the news lately, but is there ever a wrong time to blog about Michael Jackson's facial features?

If you wanna be my baby it don't matter if you're black or white.

(Via the Official Google Video Blog.)

JJtags:

Peautiful

2006-06-12T08:05:00.000+02:00

Weird Al Yankovic delivers the ultimate response to James Blunt: "You're pitiful" (mp3).

(Via Stereogum.)

JJTags:

Everybody's happy Zarkawi's dead...

2006-06-10T10:33:00.000+02:00

...especially Scott Adams, creator of those hilarious Dilbert cartoon strips (and author of the Dilbert blog). Why? Because it happened on his birthday.

He calls it a "classic yet rare win-win-win-win scenario":

The new Iraqi government is happy because he’s dead. The Americans are happy because he’s dead. Even his friends and coworkers are happy.

...

And best of all, according to his religion, he’s in paradise deflowering virgins as we speak. I believe get gets 72 of them, and by my calculation he’s already worked his way through 7 or 8, depending on how much paperwork there is in the afterlife before you can get busy.

I read Dilbert strips religiously. All the office absurdity can be found here.

Update (14 June): You can also subscribe to the unofficial Dilbert RSS feed and get the strip straight onto your reader every day.

JJtags:

The Un-Hillary

2006-06-09T16:09:00.000+02:00

Fascinating article in The New York Magazine on the man I'd like to see elected (finally) as the next US President: Al Gore.

The burst of enthusiasm for Gore owes much to his emergence, since 9/11, as one of the Bush administration's most full-throated critics. On state-sanctioned torture, wiretapping, and, crucially, Iraq, his indictments have been searing and prescient, often far ahead of his party.

...

What Gore has said about 2008, repeatedly, is that he does not intend to run, that he does not expect to run, that he has no plans to run. All of which, as every politically sentient being knows, is thoroughly meaningless. What Gore has not said — the magic words — is that he will not run.

I was leaning towards getting off the Hillary bandwagon already, and this article just made me jump. The two candidates (if indeed Gore decides to run) couldn't be more different, and if the Democrats want to provide a real alternative to Bush and his policies - and one that people will actually vote for - they need Gore.

More interesting quotes from the article:

Having loudly and steadfastly opposed the war, he could challenge [Clinton] from the left. Yet on national security, he could simultaneously run to her right, given his long-held expertise about bombs and bullets and his advocacy of intervention in Kosovo and Bosnia; as a putative commander-in-chief, his credentials are beyond reproach (no small thing in an age of terror). Similarly, Gore's anti-global-warming jihad would stand him in good stead with the greens and other liberals, while his long and demonstrated history as a moderate on countless other issues (from the deficit to "reinventing government") would allow him to score with centrist Democrats who fear that Clinton is a once-and-future lefty.

...

The speech, a blazing attack on Bush's march to war in Iraq, centered on the argument that an incursion against Saddam Hussein would undermine the struggle against Al Qaeda. Gore read a draft of the speech to a friend before delivering it. "I said, 'Holy shit, this is powerful,' " recalls this friend. "And nobody else is saying this."

...

Does he, like many Democrats, think the election was stolen? Gore pauses a long time and stares into the middle distance. "There may come a time when I speak on that," Gore says, "but it’s not now; I need more time to frame it carefully if I do." Gore sighs. "In our system, there’s no intermediate step between a definitive Supreme Court decision and violent revolution."

JJtags:

It's Safari time

2006-06-07T13:13:00.000+02:00

According to SiteMeter, 15% of all judgejonathan.blogspot.com readers use Safari. Well, you can add one more name to that list: the most avid Judge Jonathan reader of all, Judge Jonathan himself.

That's right, my MacBook (white/2GHz/1GB/100GB) arrived yesterday - on 06/06/06, no less - and it's simply awesome. It's shiny, it's fast, it does everything you'd want a notebook to do (well apart from that slight mooing) and more. And it's a Mac. (Which means - as of today - it supports Google Video Player.)

More soon on my new life as a Mac user, and all the things I can do now. Like homemade video podcasts with my built-in iSight camera. Scary, I know, but the possibilities are endless.

Stay tuned.
(Or is that 'iTuned'?)

JJtags:

Animal Heaven

2006-05-30T18:27:00.000+02:00

Who doesn't enjoy the occasional 'Where are they now?' list? I for one sure do. Ah, all those one-hit wonder girls and boys... and dogs.

Low Culture: Animal Superstars: Where Are They Now?

Strangely enough, Rin Tin Tin, Willy, Beethoven and all the rest seem to have ended up in the same place. Consider this post's title a hint. (But check out the link anyway. Just in case.)

JJtags:

MacBook update

2006-05-29T15:59:00.000+02:00

Mine is scheduled to arrive on 8 June - and some users have already reported bugs in theirs.

Literally.

JJtags:

macbook
bug

Samuel L. Jackson is God

2006-05-20T14:28:00.000+02:00

He is! And Charlton Heston knows.

Huh?! Watch this video, which Egotastic rightly calls "the funniest video ever":

JJtags:

Floating sumos

2006-05-19T07:51:00.000+02:00

What are twelve Japanese sumo wrestler superstars doing in Israel?

This:

[T]he wrestlers, accompanied by a group of 18 coaches and managers, are to tour holy sites in Jerusalem and to prove that weight is no obstacle to floating in the Dead Sea.

Fair enough. But could weight be an obstacle to flying high in the air? I for one would think twice about boarding that plane. Get this:

The wrestlers weigh about 150 kilograms each and will each occupy three seats on the flight to Israel.

Wait a minute - does this mean that sumo wrestlers can never fly business class? Man, life for sumos is hard. Or, in Marty McFly's words: That's heavy.

JJtags:

Snoop won't keep his promise

2006-05-17T17:35:00.000+02:00

Mami, mamasita
Have you ever flown on G5s
From London to Ibiza?

You'll have Sundays with chiquitas
You'll see Venus and Serena
In the Wimbledon Arena

And I can take you...
-Snoop Dogg feat. Justin Timberlake, "Signs"

Well that'll never happen:

Rapper Snoop Dogg has been banned from entering the United Kingdom following his arrest for affray and violent disorder at London's Heathrow Airport last month. The hitmaker - real name Calvin Broadus - will be prohibited from traveling in the country for the rest of his life ... he has also been banned from flying with the airline.

Well, well. I guess it's back to rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on gin and juice (beeotch!!). Too bad.

JJtags:

It's here

2006-05-16T17:55:00.000+02:00

...and it's beautiful.

Oh - and it's powerful.

JJtags:

One thumb down

2006-05-10T22:21:00.000+02:00

...one to go.

I think I've reached a new low in my life today: I managed to staple myself in the thumb.

Which, funnily enough, reminded me of a story my Croatian flatmate used to tell me: that the Swiss German word for stapler - bostitch - was derived from the name of its inventor, a Croation guy called Bostic. Of course, I never believed him.

Well, today I decided to look it up, fearing the worst - that the story would actually turn out to be true. But what do you know, a little bit of internet research uncovered the following:

Originally known as the Boston Wire Stitcher® Company, the first syllables of the words "Boston" and "Stitcher" were joined to make "Bostitch®", and the name was adopted for product use after the manufacture of machines began.

So there it is. Another urban (Zagreb, I suppose) legend debunked.

The thumb still hurts, by the way.

JJtags:

How to warp space

2006-05-08T18:39:00.000+02:00

Ever wondered how the whole warp drive thing worked on Star Trek?

It's actually quite simple. It's not about travelling faster than light (which remains impossible); it's about manipulating space, which can expand faster than light. All you need is some negative energy, a bit of dark energy, and a bunch of other interstellar ingredients.

Popular Science helps us understand:

Instead of trying to move through space, the warp drive moves space itself. The ship sits inside a bubble of spacetime bound by a negative energy field that races across the cosmos.

You can read all the specifics at Popular Science's warp drive page. Don't get your hopes up though - the timeframe is rather conservative ("some point between the distant future and never").

(Via Speculist.)

JJtags:

Homecoming next Tuesday?

2006-05-05T18:44:00.000+02:00

The decision was made a while ago. Since then, I've been waiting. Waiting for the right moment to come home. Waiting for something that may or may not be called MacBook. Waiting, apparently, for next Tuesday, May 9.

That - according to several rumour sites - is when the new Intel-based iBook successor will be unveiled.

I've got my wallet ready, Apple - bring it on. (To be continued...)

JJtags:

You know you're living in the 21st Century...

2006-05-03T17:55:00.000+02:00

...when anti-capitalist rioters in Zurich first destroy a cash machine, then take a picture of it with their high-end camera phones.

More 1 May images here. (Via limmatquai.)

JJtags:

Le casino royale

2006-05-02T12:24:00.000+02:00

The first teaser trailer for Casino Royale, the upcoming Bond movie, is out. In French. (Stranger things have happened.)

Now I knew it would be a prequel of sorts (i.e., 007's first mission), but did they really have to go that far back and turn Bond into an ape?

More? For the time being, visit JamesBond.com.

Update: I Watch Stuff agrees.

JJtags:

Doyle Redland reporting

2006-04-21T18:11:00.000+02:00

The following statement is true: Things that are funny to read are even funnier to listen to.

I made this discovery over at The Onion Radio News, which I urge you to check out now. Please please please check it out. Check it out. And let me know if the statement "People are more likely to do things when you tell them three times" is true too.

In all seriousness, the guy reading the news is hilarious. Which isn't very hard with news topics such as "President's Desire To View Opinion Polls Reaches New Low", "God Thanked For Something He Would Never Do", or "Emoticon Typo Commits Area Woman To Second Date".

There's a new one every day, and obviously, you can get the whole thing as a podcast too.

JJtags:

Olmert's pretty good idea

2006-04-20T13:21:00.000+02:00

Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry tells Elaine that the original title for "War And Peace" was "War - What Is It Good For?", and that it was Tolstoy's mistress who convinced him to call it "War And Peace"?

Well, here's a similarly crazy story. Except that this one is true:

PM Olmert: Man behind 'Pretty Woman'

'Pretty Woman,' one of the most successful romantic comedies in Hollywood's history, and the film that brought Julia Roberts her cinematic breakthrough as an actress, owes its name to none other than Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

(...)

[Olmert] said: "Listen, I have an idea for you – why don't you call the movie 'Pretty Woman,' after the song?" - "Forget it," Marshall replied, "it's too kitschy." Milchan, on his part, also had his doubts. But Olmert, already an experienced politician, managed to convince the two his idea was not so bad.

Hm. Using song titles for names - maybe "War - What Is It Good For?" would have worked after all.

In any case, convincing others that your ideas are "not so bad" is quite an asset in the Middle East. Any bets on what else Olmert might push through during his term?

JJtags:

Katie whelps

2006-04-19T20:07:00.000+02:00

When people point out to you that you haven't blogged in a while, it usually means two things:

1. You actually have readers.
2. Um. Okay, maybe it just means that one thing.

Anyway, it's blogging time again, and what better to talk about than the alien that landed on Earth yesterday? Yep, the one that grew out of Katie Holmes' belly. The creature I was obviously afraid of way back in June 2005.

You might be wondering where I get this sense of humour from, and why I can't just be happy that little Suri is doing fine. The answer is: I've been reading too much of The Superficial.

Yep, The Superficial, my favourite celebrity blog. So funny you'll wet your pants. I mean, the tagline alone: "Because you're ugly." I should have thought of that.

Check out all these guys have had to say about space invader Cruise lately. Or even better, read this. Or this. Or this, for God's sake. Get the point? They're funny. And they know no shame. And I like it.

Also check out their sister site I Watch Stuff, a great movie blog that deals with profound issues such as the vaginal and phallic elements of Superman Returns.

P.S. I realize this post wasn't really about Tom and Katie's new baby that much. I do hope that any Scientologist who might be on the verge of telling me that I've got my facts wrong mister will take that into consideration.

JJtags:

Switzerland reads Judge Jonathan

2006-04-12T15:54:00.000+02:00

This blog is more powerful than you think. At least in Switzerland.

Over a year ago, I said: Save The Foifräppler!

And now?
NZZ: Fünfräppler wird nicht abgeschafft

Ha! Need more proof? Well, quite apart from my obvious influence on Swiss monetary policy, I am also shaping the debate in one of Switzerland's leading weeklies.

Only weeks after I caused something you could almost call a controversy in the comments to this post, the Weltwoche publishes an article on the Osho resort. (Too bad the author apparently joined the dark forces while he was there.)

Judge Jonathan: Be the first to know.

JJtags:

My Windows of opportunity

2006-04-06T23:52:00.000+02:00

Okay, that must be the worst play on words I've ever used in a post title. But Apple just announced its new computers will be able to run Windows XP, so anything goes. Hear me out.

Twice a year, the university I work for runs a special promotion for students and employees that offers Apple computers at discounted prices. This year - meaning, ever since the release of the Intel-based MacBook Pro - I have been seriously considering returning to the Apple family which I left sometime around 1999.

It's not hard to explain why. My VAIO is 3 1/2 years old, and takes almost 5 minutes to start up - and once you can actually use the thing, it's almost too hot to handle, literally. Plus, several friends are making the switch from PC to Mac - including a former Mac-hater. And hey, there was never a shadow of doubt in my mind that Mac OS X outshines Windows XP by far.

And then, yesterday's announcement. Imagine this: Have all the comfort, the luxury, the pleasure of using a Mac - plus the ability to switch back to Windows if you really need to. If there ever was a reason not to return to Apple, it's gone.

The window of opportunity* to knock 20% off the MacBook Pro closes in 24 hours (for me at least, as I'll be leaving the country once again tomorrow night). When it comes to buying computers, I just can't make decisions that fast. Plus, I've been told by various Apple users to wait for the second round of Intel-based Macs (which will include an iBook, I hope).

But the decision in principle is made, and this blog post makes it official: I am coming home.

*=See? That play on words really wasn't all that bad. By the way, I read about the Apple announcement here first - now, it's on the front page of the FT.)

JJtags:

Sometimes it snows in April

2006-04-05T11:05:00.000+02:00

When you least expect it, it really does:

Prince - "Sometimes It Snows In April"

Tracy died soon after a long fought civil war
Just after I'd wiped away his last tear
I guess he's better off than he was before,
A whole lot better off than the fools he left here

I used to cry for Tracy because he was my only friend
Those kind of cars don't pass you every day
I used to cry for Tracy because I wanted to see him again
But sometimes, sometimes life ain't always the way...

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish life was never ending
And all good things, they say, never last

Springtime was always my favorite time of year
A time for lovers holding hands in the rain
Now springtime only reminds me of Tracy's tears
Always cry for love, never cry for pain

He used to say so strong unafraid to die
Unafraid of the death that left me hypnotized
No, staring at his picture I realized
No one could cry the way my Tracy cried

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad
Sometimes, sometimes I wish that life was never ending
And all good things, they say, never last

I often dream of heaven and I know that Tracy's there
I know that he has found another friend
Maybe he's found the answer to all the April snow
Maybe one day I'll see my Tracy again

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending
But all good things, they say, never last

All good things that say, never last
And love, it isn't love until it's past

JJtags:

April again

2006-04-02T18:59:00.000+02:00

Just like last year, this April fool's day once again provided me with a bunch of funny stories to share.

OpenOffice claimed to have been bought by Microsoft (via Chris), while Housequake.com did the same and announced it had become "the property of Paisley Park Enterprises".

Meanwhile, Google - who announced Google Romance this year - was outdone by Yahoo!, who decided to "buy Web 2.0. All of it." See: All Your Web 2.0 Are Belong To Us.

Here's an overview (German) of what the Swiss media had to offer, including Tagi's discovery of Mozart's actual grave in Florence. Unfortunately, this wasn't a joke, but my man Tobistar took care of it quickly and mercilessly.

And here's my favourite (because it would be so cool if it were true):
24's Jack Bauer will appear on Lost.

"The storyline ... involves Bauer crash-landing on the island in a WWII biplane after he is fired by CTU.

...Bauer's accident-prone daughter Kim on 24 has also signed on to appear in an episode where she trips and falls down."

Read/heard funnier ones? Post a link in the comments box.

JJtags:

Google Blog takeover

2006-03-28T13:14:00.000+02:00

What happens when Google accidentally deletes its own official blog, and some 19-year old kid snatches the googleblog.blogspot.com domain?

Read the entire story as it unfolded last night, complete with screenshots and all the "Google Blog hacked!" hysteria, over at Googlist.

Interesting comment at the end:

Thinking about what happened tonight, it is both humble and daring of Google to use its rather unsophisticated blogging tool to write one of the tech industry's most important blogs. But then, it would be ludicrous if they used a beefed up installation of say, WordPress, wouldn't it?

JJtags:

Jetset Jonathan

2006-03-23T06:49:00.000+01:00

Why is it that I realize only after I've taken a laptop with me for my very first business trip that no airport on this planet seems to offer free wireless internet access?

I have to agree with San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom on this one: Wireless Internet access is a fundamental human right. And you shouldn't need a credit card for it.

Anyway, for those who are wondering (like I was this morning) where the hell I am now: I'm here, and it's interesting enough (there's even a blog!). And if the jetlag doesn't kill me until tomorrow, I'll post some more.

JJtags:

3121: The Review

2006-03-19T23:23:00.000+01:00

"It's goin' down y'all. Like the wall in Berlin."

Now that's a statement only Prince could get away with (just about). Followers of this blog may have noticed a slight increase in posts tagged ‘prince’ in recent days. While some have publicly noted their concern with this development, others may be wondering what the deal is and what His Royal Badness is up to these days.

Well, let me give you a straight anwer: 3121. That's not only the address of Prince’s new crib in LA, it's also the title of his latest album, which despite the above mentioned warnings I will review now.

First things first: 3121is the best thing Prince has released in years. Seriously, this is the kind of mainstream comeback album 2004’s Musicology should have been. The minimalist beats on "Black Sweat" will remind people that miracles happen when you give Prince a drum computer. Give him a guitar and you get the same, as half the songs on 3121 will show.

Of course, here and there you'll find Prince trying too sound contemporary. "Incense and Candles" uses vocal effects last heard by Cher, and "Black Sweat" could easily fit on the next Neptunes-produced Snoop album. But unlike previous efforts, Prince now seems comfortable mixing such elements with more subtle reminders of his own greatness. An example: "Te Amo Corazon" is a cheesy ballad that succeeds well enough (Prince’ accent notwithstanding) in sounding like Latin Jazz – but listen to the bizarre string arrangement during the song’s first ten seconds, and you will recognize vintage Prince in an instant.

Sounding modern while reminding loyal listeners of his 1980s self is a perfect recipe for mass success, and that's what Prince is doing here. And while he fails on some tracks – such as "Lolita" and "Satisfied", both trying to hard to meet radio formats – most are winners, such as the sizzling "Incense and Candles", which features what must be the first Prince rap that’s actually any good, and "Beatiful, Loved and Blessed". The latter sees his latest protegée, Tamar, trying to spoil the fun with her bland vocals, but Prince saves the song with a blistering guitar solo and an outro that outfunks even the final track, James Brown-inspired "Get on the Boat".

But there’s more. Listen to 3121 and, surpisingly, you’ll find a handful of absolute standout tracks – pure Prince, beyond the whole old-school/new-school dichotomy that’s been haunting Prince albums since 1991. "Love" marks a roaring venture into techno beats; "The Dance" features sensual piano licks and Prince’s best screaming since "The Beautiful Ones" on Purple Rain; and "The Word"’s melodies are so cleverly simple it even makes you forget the lyrics ("safeguard against forked tongues and the treachery of the wicked one").

Even more breathtaking than these three is the title track. Put in the CD, close your eyes and you will be transported to Prince's house party, where people "drink champagne from a glass with chocolate handles", where the butterflies in your belly are "scared that they gonna be awake all night long", where Michael B. is back on drums and Prince plays the most insane rhythm guitar you’ve heard only to outdo himself during the solo seconds later, while none other than Camille, Prince’s female alter ego, sings in a sped-up voice and tells you that "that’s where the party be – 3121".

Make no mistake - the album as a whole is no masterpiece. There are just too many compromises for that. But to use an old cliché, when it’s good, it’s great – and even the weaker tracks feature some of Prince’s most inspired vocals in years.

Listen to the whispering falsetto screams of “Black Sweat”, put your earphones on to experience "The Word"’s atmospheric midrange voice, and check out the uplifting harmonies on "Love" and the dissonant ones on the title track. Get it? Prince had fun recording this album. And whenever that happens, you’re bound to have fun listening to it, too.

3121 is out tomorrow in Europe, and Tuesday (March 21 - i.e. 3/21) in the US.

JJtags:

I named my chicken after you

2006-03-16T17:49:00.000+01:00

What's the deal with the Brokeback Mountain trailer? Why do people keep mashing it up with stuff I love?

Believe it or not, here it is: the gay cowboy love story between Jerry Seinfeld and Cosmo Kramer.

(Via the Seinfeld Blog.)

Previously:
-Who the hell is Clara?!

JJtags:

The Google Earth isn't flat

2006-03-15T20:36:00.000+01:00

Googlist has a nice overview on yet another Google purchase, SketchUp. In short: Google might be planning to map the earth in 3D. Check out Googlist's screencast demo to understand what that means.

Of course, Google's plans don't stop at the global level: it has already mapped Mars, and judging by the domain names Google Inc. has registered, it's planning to expand all the way to Pluto, mapping every planet on its way ("Google Galaxy Starts With Mars").

Now if I could only get Google Earth to run on my crappy old VAIO.

JJtags:

Suck Natalie's... well see for yourself

2006-03-14T19:00:00.000+01:00

Okay, let's do a little quiz, shall we? Here's the situation:

You're a young, aspiring actress/singer/Hollywood socialite who wants to break free from her girlie reputation. You want to prove to the world that you're all grown up. "Girl, you'll be a woman soon"? Hell no. You wanna be a woman now. What do you do?

a) You make a homemade porn movie with your 30-year old boyfriend and appear seminude in print publications (or at parties) around the globe. All in an effort to to make people forget how ugly you are.

b) You declare that you are now "Dirrty".

c) You marry your high school sweetheart, divorce him after 48 hours, then marry a guy who has a pregnant girlfriend and isn't able to tell celebrity photographers from opera singers.

d) You let Tom Cruise knock you up.

...or...

e) You appear on Saturday Night Live and make fun of all the above and your own good-girl image. How? By appearing in a rap video and explaining that you want "to drink and fight". And to "fuck all night". And that anyway, while you were in Harvard, you "smoked weed every day" and "cheated every test". So "suck my dick".

RESULTS

a-d: You're one of these girls. Get out of my sight.

e: You're Natalie Portman:
-->Saturday Night Live: A Day in the Life of Natalie Portman <-- (link to video - see it to believe it)

--- Previously:
-I'm still gonna marry her
-Open Letter to Katie Holmes
-Supermen, Princes and Parises

JJtags:

This is a blog - uh - u can't touch

2006-03-13T19:14:00.000+01:00

Stop - Hammertime.

Rashunda points us to the ultimate blast from the past: MC Hammer has a blog.

Talk about my childhood coming back to haunt me. Believe it or not, Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em was the first album I ever owned (on cassette, of course). I still remember walking down the streets of Albany, CA with my buddy Steven and rapping to "U Can't Touch This". And here I am, 16 years later, linking to MC Hammer's blog.

(And in between? Not much. A couple of years back, I heard the Hammer had filed for bankruptcy. And then there was that moment when 12-year old me listened to "When Doves Cry" for the first time, and, after a moment or two, realized it was MC Hammer who ripped Prince off - not the other way around.)

Read all about Stanley Kirk Burrell and his parachute pants here.

By the way: Hammer thinks Barry Bonds is too legit to quit. (Couldn't resist that one.)

JJtags:

Just the write purchase for Google

2006-03-09T23:13:00.000+01:00

Okay, I'm officially excited: Google just announced it bought Writely - and, as they say themselves, "writely so".

Writely is "a collaborative word processor that runs in a web browser". That's right - that's word processor, collaborative and runs in a web browser, all in one sentence, describing the very same thing.

Now it's not like I ever heard of Writely until five minutes ago, but I can smell where Google is going with this. Google Office, Google OS - all browser-based - the sky's the limit.

Harry McCracken - that funnyman - speculated about this and more back in August 2005. It's still worth a read.

JJtags:

Who the hell is Clara?!

2006-03-06T22:37:00.000+01:00

So Brokeback Mountain didn't win. Well, I'm sure Brokeback to the Future would have.

Speaking of which, the thing I secretly look forward to the most whenever I watch the Oscars (which, stuck between Mexico City and Zurich, I didn't this year) are acceptance speeches. Of course, most are boring as hell, but every now and then we're treated to a cool one. Just like this one here, by one of Hollywood's finest actors.

JJtags:

On the road again

2006-02-23T01:56:00.000+01:00

Yep, it's that time of the year when Judge Jonathan needs to get out of cold Europe and say hi to his old friend, the sun. This time - just a few weeks after coming home from India - I'm off to Mexico. Will this blog be updated while I'm there? Come back often and find out.

Of course, I wouldn't dream of leaving you here without at least one more post about Prince - not only because he played a 12-minute surprise set at the 2006 Brit Awards, performed the much-hyped new track "Fury" with some killer guitar solos, was joined onstage by none other than Wendy & Lisa (with Wendy playing the opening chords of "Purple Rain" for the first time in 20 years), but also because I can show how smart I am by embedding yet another YouTube video on my blog.

Yep, here's the Brits performance in its entirety. Enjoy:

JJtags:

Couldn't have said it better

2006-02-21T19:03:00.000+01:00

Recalling last week's post on how people can have very different music tastes, I'd like to join an anonymous person on PostSecret in making the following statement:

More secrets every Sunday at PostSecret.
More good music taste every Sunday at SongOfTheWeek.

JJtags:

Achieved is the Glorious Work

2006-02-19T19:46:00.000+01:00

It is done.

The overhaul is complete: I have added a total of six new features to Judge Jonathan (all of them via Freshblog's Blogger Hacks series). Let me bore you with the details one last time - after that, everything will return to blogging as usual.

But first off, a huge sorry to anyone who has commented in the past two weeks: I realize that all your comments have stayed invisible until yesterday. The reason isn't that I'm a comment fascist, or that I care what language you comment in - it's simply that I turned on comment moderation for some reason without a clue what that was. And when I checked yesterday, there were eight comments there, waiting for me to set them free.

Long story short: Comments are unmoderated again, so comment! Which brings us to point no. 1...

Recent Comments
One of the things I always loved about comenting on Tobistar's kick-ass blog was that once I posted a comment, my name was immediately visible on his main page in the 'Recent Comments' section. Well, Blogger doesn't offer that, but this guy does. Like everything else I'll be telling you about today, it's fairly simple to implement - check the link for the Javascript code. Plus, if you feel like you need to promote your own blog, commenting often on Judge Jonathan is the way to go!

Linkable Title
Well, this one I actually figured out myself (!) - post the URL of each individual post into the "Link" field when creating it, and your title doubles as a link to the post. Plus it looks cooler - see the three dots before the title?

Favicon
Speaking of which: I liked the dots so much that I decided to use them as a favicon. The instructions are simple and can be found directly at the Freshblog. A favicon, by the way, is that little logo in the address bar of your browser.

Monthly Archives
Two improvements here. Firstly, I decided the Archive list on the sidebar was taking too much space (especially with the 'Recent Comments' section), so I turned it into a drop-down menu, and, while I was at it, switched the sorting the order around to display the latest archives first. All via Roveberg.

Secondly, I made sure that if people do choose a month to look at, they get an overview of all posts' titles (rather than their full text). See an example here. This counterintuitive Blogger default setting was avoided with the help of - well, Blogger's help section. Makes you wonder why it doesn't work like that in the first place.

Random Tagline
See that cool picture to your left? See the text below? Thing is - I don't know which one you're looking at. That's because I'm using Javascript to randomize which tagline appears (refresh this page and spot them all!). It's neat, it's simple, it gives you more space for self-promotion, and it can be found at No Fancy Name.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: del.icio.us Tags/Categories
I told you previously that Technorati kicked Google Blog Search's ass when it comes to using tags as categories.
Well, del.icio.us kicks Technorati's ass.
No more waiting for Technorati to list your latest posts - with del.icio.us, you bookmark your posts yourself. But doesn't that mean more work?, I hear you ask. Not if you use Freshblog's method. All you need is:
-a del.icio.us account
-Firefox
-the Greasemonkey extension for Firefox
-Johan Sundstrom's deluxe script to tweak Blogger

Once you've got those, you can post your tags directly into Blogger (right below the title field) - and what's more, once you've published your page, you're taken directly to your del.icio.us account, where all you have to do is click 'save' (the URL, title and tags are filled out automatically) and you're all set.

So basically, del.icio.us tags do two things for you: they give you lots of traffic (visible on del.icio.us, Technorati and other sites), and they double as categories, which you can edit easily and without re-editing your post (unlike Technorati!). You can view all of my tags/categories at my del.icio.us page.

Well, that's it folks, metablogging is over. Again, if you feel like adding any of the above features to your Blogger blog, check out Freshblog and start fiddling around with that code. But please - remember to back up your template...

By the way:

My blog is worth $5,080.86.
How much is your blog worth?

(Via Berner Gazette.)

JJtags:

Fiddling in Japan

2006-02-17T19:00:00.000+01:00

I'm telling you - this blog is way more popular than its statistics suggest.

Just last Sunday, I told you you were all Jewish. Within less than a week, the message reached Japan.

That's right - believe it or not, I got this video of Fiddler on the Roof in Japanese (!) from a co-worker this morning. An absolute must-see.

JJtags:

Emancipation depreciates

2006-02-16T18:21:00.000+01:00

I suppose both the market value for and my personal opinion of Emancipation, Prince's (or rather, 's) 1996 triple-CD album, have dropped somewhat in the almost 9 1/4 years since I bought it for CHF50.- as a fresh Prince fan in my (very) early teens.

But despite being nowhere close the masterpiece it promised to be, Emancipation is not hardly as bad as this guy on eBay thinks:

PRINCE - EMANCIPATION Triple cd (1996)
Rubbish cd! would of listed at -1p had eBay allowed

An absolute joke cd from Prince, Sign, Squiggle, or whatever he calls himself these days... I bought this for £1.99 from HMV as it was a triple cd, and thought there must be some good tracks on there... but there ain't... trust me. Don't get me wrong, the discs themselves look great, and it may even be worth bidding on this, even if its only for the fat jewel case, to replace a broken one elsewhere, as these can be hard to find!!!

Too funny, if untrue ("The Love We Make" is more than a "good track", it's a masterpiece) - but it does take a lot of nerve to claim on eBay that you'd pay the buyer to take this off you if you could.

Moving on, there's a nice review of Prince's new single "Black Sweat" over at Blogcritics. This guy just about sums up why I think even eBay user muzik2myears might like the upcoming 3121.

"Black Sweat" succeeds simply because it contains the crux of Prince's entire songwriting career in its first line alone: "I don't wanna take my clothes off," he coos in that unmistakable falsetto, his voice sounding not a day older than it was in 1981 - "but I do."

You can view the video for "Black Sweat" here.

JJtags:

Introducing: SongOfTheWeek.net

2006-02-13T21:59:00.000+01:00

Two weeks ago, it hit your email inboxes. This week, it hits Judge Jonathan.

Introducing: SongOfTheWeek.net.

In an age where downloading seems to be the only thing people want to do with songs, we believe you should spend a couple of minutes reading what we have to say about the songs we like. You know you want to.

('We' being the man behind this award-winning weblog, the man behind this dead weblog - what a shame indeed - and myself).

So if you've got nothing to do on a Sunday - and, before I forget, if you speak German - jump over to SongOfTheWeek and see what song we wanna tell you about this week.

And then, download it. But do it legally. Mhm.

---

By the way: Yes, if you don't speak German, SongOfTheWeek.net isn't for you, and that's a shame - but if you don't speak English, you might be in even bigger trouble.

JJtags:

We regret to inform you...

2006-02-12T23:50:00.000+01:00

... you are now a member of the club - q.e.d.:

"We [Danes] are all Jews now."

-Danish King Christian X, after the Germans had ordered all Jews in occupied Denmark to wear armbands with yellow stars (according to legend).

"We [Westerners] are all Danes now."

-Boston Globe columnist Jeff Jacoby, 5 February 2006

Ergo: You're all Jews now. Solid proof! Welcome to the club.

(Via my dad.)

JJtags:

The Purple One and his Guitar

2006-02-07T22:59:00.000+01:00

I swear to God I wasn't gonna blog about this. But when I saw that even indie rock blog Stereogum was raving about it ("I was really surprised how much I like this new Prince song"), I just had to post it.

This is Prince at his best: Last Saturday, he was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, and rather than playing one of his hits, he chose to perform "Fury", a brand new song from his upcoming album 3121 (release date: March 21). And boy did he tear that guitar up! Just in case the world needed any reminding of just how amazing he is on guitar.

Rock on.

Okay, while we're at it: Here's His Purple Highness performing that breathtaking solo to "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" during the 2004 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Oh yes, that's the entire crowd on their feet and in awe. For the song in its entirety, click here.

JJtags:

Fixin' a leak in the roof

2006-02-06T22:25:00.000+01:00

I can't say I'm into American football. And I don't really enjoy sitting through 20 minutes of commercials for every hour I watch TV. And no, I've never really seen the point of light beer.

But add up the above three, bring Google Video into the mix, and you'll laugh your ass off. I sure did.

Watch all 52 Super Bowl XL Commercials on Google Video here - especially the Bud Light ones.

(Via the Official Google Blog - bringing you good news, for a change.)

JJtags:

Categories Update

2006-02-02T22:58:00.000+01:00

After a week of trying out all kinds of tricks and hacks, I'm happy to announce I've found a solution for my categories problem. Three conclusions I came to on the way:

1) Google Blog Search sucks.

2) Technorati rules. (Wait, make that 73(hn0r471 r00£z.)

3) Tagging your posts increases your page visits. A lot.

So from now on, all posts will feature my very own JJtags at the end, each of which link to Technorati's respective tag page.
For categories, I simply added a list of tags I use most to my sidebar, and linked them to Technorati tag page displaying only posts by me! (It's as simple as that - to do it yourself, simply add "?user=yourusername" to any Technorati link, e.g. "http://technorati.com/tag/tagname?user=yourusername".)

A comprehensive list of ways to create categories and lots of other neat stuff with Blogger can be found at Freshblog's frequently-updated Blogger Hacks - The Series.

JJtags:

India

2006-02-01T21:30:00.000+01:00

To those who know that it's been ~~over a week~~ almost three weeks since I returned to Zurich from India, and might have been wondering why I haven't mentioned it – I'd say it was the state of shock I was in after that sudden drop in temperature (from 32 degrees in Bombay to -4 in Zurich within a couple of hours). But now, having slightly recovered (slightly, just slightly), it's time to write down some of the things I remember about that fascinating week. So here goes.

The first thing that hit me as I arrived in Bombay International Airport in the middle of the night was the humidity that briefly reminded me of Israel. It didn't take me long, however, to realize that this was a lot different. Specifically, it was a lot dirtier. It won't surprise you, of course, that the airport turned out to be a sea of quiet and hygiene (though not without its fair share of corruption) compared to what I witnessed once I got outside the terminal.

Still, you get a first impression of the chaos of India's streets at Bombay's airport, and it was in the midst of that madness that I found myself at midnight, equipped with two backpacks and an address written in English. Now I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but up until the moment I realized that the cab driver – whose English was limited to two words: "no problem" – had taken me to the right place, I seriously didn’t have a clue what the hell was going on around me.

When I finally got to my destination (after the driver stopped several times to chat to a friend, pick up another friend, go to the gas station and have a smoke, etc), I found two old friends from London waiting for me and amused by my slow adjustment to Indian life (they'd been travelling the place for a month already).

After following me for ten full minutes and trying to steal my wallet, these boys were finally chased away by some old dude who kept smacking the oldest kid repeatedly. Which the boy seemed to enjoy, strangely enough.

In short, Bombay is by far the most hectic city I've ever seen. But once you get used to the pollution (I guess I'll just have to accept that I'll die ten years sooner now), the constant spitting (despite – or perhaps because of – 1951's Police Act prohibiting it; incidentally, the red spots on the ground are from chewing tobacco, not blood, I was told), the honking (whoever always thought – like I used to – that Tel Aviv was the world's honking capital, know this: the two are not even in the same league) and the crazy traffic on the streets (full of suicidal rickshaw and cab drivers outmanoeuvring each other, both clearly oblivious to the concept of a pedestrian), you realize that the place is quite simply captivating.

There's a number of interesting sights to see: the Gateway of India, the Taj Mahal Hotel and the Prince of Wales Museum to mention a few. And we made sure we didn’t miss out on the great food Bombay has to offer. Nor did we fail to visit Leopold's Café, the meeting point for Westerners known to readers of Shantaram – I’m not one of them yet, but I do intend to read the signed copy I bought at Leopold's before Johnny Depp's movie hits the big screen in 2007. Oh, and a word to the wise: Don't trust the Lonely Planet about that "Oxygen Bar" thing.

Still, the most beautiful thing to do in Bombay is actually not in Bombay. It's about an hour out by ship, and it's called Elephanta Island, named by Portuguese explorers after the stone elephant head they found near the entrance of the island's caves. The elephant isn’t there anymore, but unlike most sculptures in the caves, it wasn’t actually mutilated by the Portuguese, but rather moved to a museum.

As for the caves, they're filled with sculptures of Hindu gods in all kinds of poses (though their arms and legs are missing, having been identified by the Portuguese as ideal targets for shooting practice). Most of the statues are quite amusing to look at, and that’s it. But one in particular was so intriguing it even made me feel humbled: a head with the three faces of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, the Hindu trimurti (holy trinity) that, at least compared to God/Son/Holy Spirit, seems almost cool to me – the three being the Creator, the Preserver and the Destroyer.

But listen to me, I'm getting all esoteric. Seriously though – the whole thing was so impressive that I even brought a little Ganesh figure home with me from Elephanta. Not that there aren't other, more worldly attractions about Elephanta: the scores of monkeys laying around the caves come to mind, picking at each other’s lice and stealing the tourist’s food when they’re not watching.

The Gateway of India in all its colonial glory, taken from a boat headed for Elephanta. Unfortunately for the Brits, they were kicked out of Bombay and the rest of India some 10 years after they finished building the gateway. Well, so it goes.

All in all, there’s no doubt Bombay is a mesmerizing city, but after a couple of days, we felt it was time to get out. So we hopped on a bus for a 4-hour journey to Pune, which is in many ways a milder version of Bombay. Although the pollution is just as bad, if not worse, as Bombay's, it has less colonial history, and, more importantly, fewer inhabitants. It is also, pardon the expression again, a more spiritual place than Bombay – something I realized pretty soon, and not only because the first place I saw was a Chabad house (for which I can actually provide photographic evidence; see below).

But it’s not Chabad, the many Hindu temples or Asia’s largest synagogue outside Israel that make Pune an attraction for Westerners in search of God, their souls, nature, the truth, enlightenment, and some good group sex in red robes. No, all that is provided in the Osho Ashram, the city’s main attraction.

Osho, who according to his official 2006 calendar went on a fast for 72 hours the very day he was born (gotta admire the guy's discipline), was the leader of a meditation cult that, fifteen years after his death, still enjoys huge popularity. Incidentally, Osho also owned over 50 Rolls Royce cars, which may or may not have helped him on his quest for "true silence".

His present-day followers are more modest types, easily recognizable on Pune's streets not only by said robes robes, but also by that subtle glow of insanity you can see in their eyes. Still, they're helpful and friendly (and if you can prove you're HIV-negative, they can become very friendly, if you know what I mean). They also maintain an absolutely beautiful public park which serves as Pune's little oasis of peace.

That's Buddha trying to put his finger where the sun don't shine. I wasn't amused.

Anyone who wants to see how life looks like inside the Ashram will be disappointed, however: all you get is a 30-minute video and a 10-minute silent (!) tour. Don't waste your time; go to the Gandhi museum instead. The exhibition might be just as uninspired as the Ashram tour, but at least you can pay visit to the grave of Gandhi's wife, who died in prison in Pune. And you're allowed to actually talk.

Alas, Pune's and Bombay's beauties and charms were not the only things I experienced in India. There are darker sides to the world's largest democracy (and I'm not talking about the fact that every other person on the street is trying to scam you), images that can be very unsettling to see for people like me, who had never been to the developing world before. Outside the flat I was staying at in Bombay, on the way back to the airport a week later, and way too many times in between, I witnessed the kind of poverty and misery that had seemed so sterile in newspaper reports and textbooks, and became so real when it was literally in my face.

There is much to be written (including hilarious satire) about the hypocrisy of Westerners travelling non-developed countries and enjoying all their attractions while millions of locals struggle to find food for the day. I won't discuss that, nor will I talk about the responsibilities of the Indian government to do something about it. Still, the beggars on the streets - with their missing legs, arms or fingers - and the thousands and thousands living in the slums, picking through piles of garbage and waiting for the monsoon rain to wash their homes away, deserve to be mentioned alongside all the magic that makes India what it is.

Anyway, I saved the best for last on purpose. Because the poverty is not the only thing that reflects the 'true' side of India; so do the locals we got to meet during my short visit. Like the upper class kids - friends of friends of friends from London - who didn't hesitate for a moment when it came to letting us stay with them, showing us around both Pune and Bombay, and taking us out.

Or Sam, our 20-year old tour guide on Elephanta - he might have been much more interested in telling us about his girlfriend ("She's very rich! She's very smart! I'm very lucky! I got it!") and showing us dubious "blue films" on his mobile phone than actually telling us about the caves, but his quirky and warmhearted character - not to mention his constant praise of my curls - made us befriend him in an instant.

I have now seen this billboard in three cities: Los Angeles, New York, and Pune. Makes sense, right?

But the single most memorable experience I had in India happened 20km outside Pune. We were invited for dinner by an autorickshaw driver named Sanjay, whom we'd met the day before. We started to like him once we realized that, contrary to so many others, was actually not out there to trick us - he really just wanted to get an honest pay. So we made a deal, and for two days he showed us not only Pune's main sights, but several temples located outside the city, which tourists generally haven't discovered yet. And then, just like that, he invited us to his house, had his wife serve us an amazing meal, and took us to see his kids at judo class (they were understandably embarassed).

Eating at a house with two rooms, seven beds, no running water and only the simplest of supplies was, naturally, another interesting experience for me, as were the conversations we had with Sanjay. And these weren't one-sided - he seemed just as curious about life in Switzerland or the UK as we were about his. A really great guy, whose daughter you might just see fighting for Judo gold at London's 2012 Olympics.

Sitting here now, 19 days after coming home, India seems far away again (as indeed it is), but I guess I'll no longer ridicule anyone who seems to be stuck on the place. As for me, who knows if I'll ever go back to India again. One thing's for sure: I'm glad I wrote this - if anything, it'll help me remember those seven great days. And by God, if you managed to read this far, you might as well hop on a plane and see for yourself.

JJtags:

Judge Jonathan just realized: 2006 is here!

2006-01-24T20:58:00.000+01:00

Well this blog sure is ready for 2006 (see its flashy new title!)... so why not look at some of the exciting new things I've got for you this year:

***Happy to report I got rid of most of the junk on the left hand side, which now features only the best of links (the list is still incomplete, of course) and the often imitated, never duplicated, one and only, official Judge Jonathan Link of the Month! (At the moment, I must confess it's still just a filler - not to diminish the value of buzztracker.org - but sources tell me next month's will blow you away)

***Another issue yours truly has been working on: Categories! That's right, that neat little feature every blog has - except the ones based on Google's Blogger, that is. Why exactly Google/Blogger have failed to introduce categorization (and why it still isn't on their to do list) is beyond me, but I had a look around and, via Digg, found a neat and very simple way to fix the problem:

Basically, you just tag the title or post body and let Google's Blog Search do the rest. The individual category listings are then displayed as search results. Dan Chong provides all the details, plus a really cool script generator (and Taher Baderkhan adds what I think is a Javascript alternative).

Only problem for me is that Google somehow won't search my entire blog (give it a try up there), making the whole thing pretty useless for me at this point. But I will get them to fix that (somehow), so look out for little self-made tags at the bottom of my posts from now on. The ~~categories~~ JJtags are coming soon - be prepared. Be, erm, very prepared.

***Another 'coming soon': Judge Jonathan will actually collaborate with some people on a new, cool, exciting and funky web project. More details soon, but again, the word on the street is that it has something to do with next month's Link of the Month! You know you're curious now.

***And finally: This highly comprehensive and informative (yet mildly amusing) post brings the total number of posts this month to a staggering four (yes, that's 4), making January 2006 the busiest month on judgejonathan.blogspot.com in a long time. Am I back in the blogging business for good? Scary thought...

So, in conclusion, hello and welcome everybody to 2006 - almost a month late, of course. Expect that to be the norm around here, so take all promises listed above with a pinch of salt.

Bon appétit.

JJtags:

Shortcut to Mount Doom

2006-01-19T17:56:00.000+01:00

I suppose they could have done it this way, and no doubt it would have saved a couple of thousand human and elven lives (not to mention all those Orcs and Uruk-Hai), but we all would have missed out on the greatest 12 hours of movie entertainment known to man (well, at least the greatest 12 hours of movie entertainment in my DVD collection).

It's hilarious nonetheless:
Watch Lord of the Rings: How It Should Have Ended (wmv).

Check out HowItShouldHaveEnded.com for more (Matrix Revolutions is too funny).

JJtags:

Clinton is gay?

2006-01-17T21:04:00.000+01:00

And Israel knew about it?

Well, yes, according to Abu Hamza al-Masri, former head preacher at London's Finsbury Park Mosque (needless to say, sic):

"Now all these dogs of the West they have to go now, none of them have condemned what Israel has done to the Muslims and the Palestinians. But as soon as three soldiers snatched from South Lebanon and some of them are being killed in Palestine they all go to their hands and knees - Robin Cook to go there on his hands and knees, even Clinton.

Why they act like sugar daddy for Israel? Because they love the Israelis? No way! Because they hate them very much, but the Israelis know how to deal with them.

They got a file for each one of these politicians, how much homosexual you are, how many money he has taken as bribe, whom his wife goes with, which child he has been abusing and they got all this against them."

(Found on cnn.com yesterday.)

It gets more serious later, when he claims that Allah cursed the Jews and "sent Hitler for them". But hey, at least he doesn't deny it happened.

JJtags:

'Israel' returns

2006-01-16T19:23:00.000+01:00

UnNews, which is increasingly emerging as the net's second-finest news source (right after The Onion), gives us this nice piece on the long-awaited season premiere of hit TV show 'Israel'.

The show, conceived by producer L. "God" Shaddai (!!!) as a combination of 'The West Wing' and '24', will be picking off immediately after last season's cliffhanger ending, when "one of the series' main characters, Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, fell into a coma after having a stroke".

Although highly successful, 'Israel', like any TV show, must take into consideration budgetary constraints:

[O]bservers note that the [Gaza] withdrawal storyline seems to have been motivated by attempts to reduce location costs and was signed off by all the Executive Producers. Regardless, rumors abound that the character of Sharon may leave, either being killed off or reappearing only infrequently.

The series, which revolves around a slowly changing cast, has already demonstrated its willingness to kill off key characters when, ten seasons ago, the show's producers killed off Yitzhak Rabin, after contract negotiations stalled with the actor who played him.

Read the article here.

On a more serious (or, depending on your point of view, less serious) note, Day 5 of '24' hit TV screens in the US last night. Which means that after an 8-month break from downloading, I have now reinstalled BitTorrent (which looks a lot more professional now). Jack is back...

JJtags:

Wikipedia vs. Britannica

2005-12-16T17:10:00.000+01:00

It hasn’t been a good couple of weeks for Wikipedia’s reputation. Bad press all over, ranging from the discovery of philosophy articles on the German Wikipedia site which were copied verbatim from copyrighted Communist-era encyclopedias to the Seigenthaler affair (John Seigenthaler Sr., a 78-year old American journalist, discovered in his Wikipedia ‘biography’ that he had been involved in the Kennedy assassinations, and wrote an op-ed piece in USA Today about it. Although the author of the entry later openly apologized to Seigenthaler - stating that the whole affair was intended to be a "prank" - the resulting controversy was huge, even causing Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales to tighten the free encyclopedia’s submission rules.)

But just in time, a 136-year old academic journal come's to Wikipedia's rescue. Well, a survey conducted by none other than Nature shows that, at least in terms of the accuracy of their science entries, Wikipedia and the well-respected Encyclopedia Britannica aren’t that far apart. Ha!

Nature: Internet encyclopaedias go head to head

An expert-led investigation carried out by Nature - the first to use peer review to compare Wikipedia and Britannica's coverage of science - suggests that (...) the difference in accuracy was not particularly great: the average science entry in Wikipedia contained around four inaccuracies; Britannica, about three.

(…)

But to improve Wikipedia, Wales is not so much interested in checking articles with experts as getting them to write the articles in the first place.

As well as comparing the two encyclopaedias, Nature surveyed more than 1,000 Nature authors and found that although more than 70% had heard of Wikipedia and 17% of those consulted it on a weekly basis, less than 10% help to update it. The steady trickle of scientists who have contributed to articles describe the experience as rewarding, if occasionally frustrating.

Greater involvement by scientists would lead to a "multiplier effect", says Wales. Most entries are edited by enthusiasts, and the addition of a researcher can boost article quality hugely. "Experts can help write specifics in a nuanced way," he says.

Okay, update: Bad news again.

TimesOnline: Wikipedia hit by surge in spoof articles

Hmpf....

JJtags:

About bloody time

2005-12-08T09:24:00.000+01:00

Prince Signs With Universal:

December 8 2005

Prince will release his next album on Universal Motown.

The first taste of the 2006 album will hit on December 13. ‘Te Amo Corazon’ will be the first commercially released song but it will not be a single.

A video clip for the track was filmed recently and directed by actree Selma Hayek.

Prince will start his next world tour in mid 2006.

20 months is too long for any Prince fan to wait for new music, dammit. Bring on 3121.

JJtags:

Israel's democratic re-awakening

2005-11-21T17:30:00.000+01:00

I know good bloggers should never give away their last names, but what the hell - yours truly has just published his first article on ISN Security Watch.

Have a look.

JJtags: