I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around,
and don't let anybody tell you different

-Kurt Vonnegut

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Sunday, May 01, 2005

Find Jesus

In case you were wondering why I haven't posted for almost three weeks, it's because finding Jesus takes a while.



Spindoctor said...

Finding Jesus IS difficult : can suggest a British/American method.

1) the British way : get elected as a Conservative MP, rise through the ranks to become a government minister (this will take a while at the momenet obviously but persevere) - then take a load of backhanders, lie about it in court and get sent to jail for four years...God should, if we are to believe past example, find you.

2) the American way : first you need to be born to a wealthy politican dynasty (I know this is difficult but, hey, no-one said finding God was gonna be easy). Then behave like a general waste of space for several years, shirk military service, completely screw up running whatever company daddy gives you to run, drink, take drugs etc. THEN decide you want to run for President (and obviously clean up your act for the cameras) - and God will be on your side (apparently).

Alternatively just start going to church...although this does mean getting up on a Sunday morning.

Judge Jonathan said...

I'll have to go for options 1) or 2), simply because I'll have enough trouble getting up early Monday-Friday next year...

Sunday mornings are for sleeping. If Jesus wants me to find him, he should change the rules...