I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around,
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Open Letter to Katie Holmes

Dear Katie,

Maybe it was only because you played the role of Joey Potter so convincingly - Dawson's Creek's girl next door who was both smart and beatiful but didn't know it - but I really used to adore you. Katie, I'm afraid things have changed.

It all started in April with the announcement that you were now dating Tom Cruise. I chose not to mention that piece of news on my blog, naively believing that if I ignored it, it would simply go away. Alas - I was wrong. Very wrong.

I seem to disagree with 60% of the American population: I don't think your relationship with Tom is merely a publicity stunt for Batman Begins (incidentally, I agree with most critics that your performance is the movie's only flaw - which is probably why you've been dropped from the sequel). No, I think matters are far worse than that. I believe you're actually in love with the guy. And what's more, you actually believe being with him could somehow help your career.
Now Katie, look at Penelope Cruz's career before and after she met Tom Cruise. Hell, when Nicole Kidman was Mrs Cruise, she did Batman Forever; once she left him, she won the Oscar for her performance in The Hours and starred in Lars von Trier's breathtaking Dogville.

You get the idea, Katie. Or do you? Instead of dropping little Tommie boy, you choose to declare that you "dig" Scientology (it's a religion based on Aliens, for God's - or whoever's - sake).

And then, on Friday, you accepted Cruise's marriage proposal. Atop Paris's Eiffel Tower, no less. And why, according to Cruise? Because "I've never been to the Eiffel Tower. It's Paris, it's a beautiful city, it's very romantic." How deep. Think about it, Katie - that's the guy you're marrying.

Who knows, you might just come to your senses in time. I hope you do. But until then, enjoy your new celebrity status, and your fiancé (who is 8cm shorter than you, in case you didn't know that).

Yours disappointedly,
J.

P.S. You could never pull this off.

1 comment:

Anaïs said...

haha... now you have to find a way to make her read that...